Title: Fatal Charm
Author: Miya & Nana
Warning(s): Yaoi/Male x male sex
Band(s): the Gazette
Pairing(s): Reita x Aoi
Summary: Doomed right from the start.
Disclaimer: We don’t own the boys, this story is purely fictional, none of it is true. We claim this fic as ours.
Comment: Paragraph-styled RP based, Reita muse in this story is role played by Miya, while Aoi muse is role played by Nana.
But he didn’t. In fact, he left the kitchen area to find Aoi in the living room, the lightning from the outside flashing the tense space brighter as thunders roared through the cracking sky as loud as his pulse did, and the next thing he knew he was using his arms to bar any possible escape for the raven, palms pressing firmly against the cold window glass as he buried his face in the curvy shoulder, trapping Aoi between his body and the hard vertical surface.
“I— Aoi,” he choked the name out, the nice scent from the smooth skin beneath his lips and the slightly damp black glossy hair was unbearably tranquilizing for his mind, and he sucked it all in, only to make every cell in his body tremble against its will. And he wasn’t sure if he was ready, if he had ever been but—
“I like you.”
Aoi's heartbeat accelerated as he pressed one hand to the window as well, in an attempt to steady himself when he was so suddenly captured.
A shudder ran through his body and he wasn't sure whether it was just the thunder rolling in his ears or if it was something else, maybe their hearts starting to beat in unison.
Clinging to the mug of hot chocolate in his other hand as if it'd suddenly turned into an anchor for him to hold on to, Aoi lowered his gaze, a huff of breath leaving his lips once he felt Reita's on his neck.
He was damn near spilling the damn chocolate with how much he was trembling by now. Was it because of the cold that had settled in Reita's apartment? Or was it his heart freezing?
And what the hell was that supposed to mean at all? Of course Reita liked him, he fucked him after all.
Exhale after exhale kept caressing his skin and sent a shiver of goosebumps all across Aoi's body.
"Rei?" he finally managed to mutter, finding himself almost automatically tilting his head to the side, like he'd done so many times before to grant the blonde more access. "What...?"
To Aoi's own surprise, his voice sounded unnaturally weak, almost croaky. What was Reita up to?
With closed eyes, Reita rubbed his trembling lips gently against the highly sensitive – and probably marked - skin to plant small kisses on it. He was actually torn between repeating it to Aoi to let him clearly know about his feelings, so for the second time, the faint and almost distorted words of revelation came out muffled and weak, “I-I…like you, Aoi,” and desperate.
“I want to have you exactly like Ruki had,” he bit his lip to prevent himself from choking, hammered chest heaving against Aoi’s back. “I don’t want to be just your affair.”
He knew deep down that he was asking for too much but the desires had grown bigger and stronger over the time and it was the mere presence of Aoi in his arms that intensified them to the point where they burst and spilled, to the point where he couldn’t and didn’t want to contain them anymore.
But the question now: Was it for good or the other way around?
“Aoi,” his arms swiftly travelled down to snake themselves around the raven’s waist, rough palms gently resting over a nicely defined smooth and flat stomach and mouth claiming whatever was in its way.
Aoi felt the mug of hot chocolate slip through his hands, saw it as if in time lapse but he was unable to move, unable to stop it from falling, shattering on the ground and spilling its content over the floor.
He wheezed once realisation set in and all he needed was milliseconds in order to twirl around, breaking free from Reita's firm embrace but instead pressing himself against the window that the rain was still mercilessly pattering against.
"What??" Aoi gasped out, his eyes wide as he stared at the blonde before him. Did he hear right? Did he hear correctly? Reita was...? With him? But...
"No!" he exclaimed, taken aback by it himself and Reita surely looked just as shocked. "No, what are you... How can you...??"
Aoi's chest had begun falling and rising more quickly, it almost seemed as if he'd just run a marathon. He was completely aghast. Oh God, this was all too much, way too much.
He gulped and gasped once more, his body covered in a layer of goosebumps he didn't even feel properly but it was tingling everywhere and Reita's piercing gaze only made it worse.
"No," he cut him short, "why did you never tell me?!"
“Because, because…you, I-,” Reita suddenly looked more conflicted than ever, hand roughly shoving through his hair to grip it tightly until his scalp hurt and he couldn’t bear the sight of Aoi’s face; the reaction stung so much he had to rip his tear-threatening gaze away. Fuck, wasn’t he supposed to foresee this?!
“It’s because you were still with Ruki!” it came out almost as a sob. “You loved him!”
Hell, wasn’t it awfully obvious?
Every feature of his face creased as the burn from the almost fallen tears was overwhelming him whole, and he curled his shaking fists as he heard his own snagging breaths, “I’m sorry but I … I really like you, Aoi.”
If only his bangs weren’t being held atop his head, he would’ve been able to hide his now red eyes, but no, he couldn’t and Aoi was seeing this crumpled part of him, and he couldn’t stop him, didn’t even have the strength to.
Weak, he was too weak to move himself away from Aoi, unconciously having his body sway forward until he was suddenly pressing the raven flush against the window, struggling to secure his arms around the narrow waist and kissing the full lips slow and hard, tight hands fisted in the sides of the other’s shirt.
Aoi didn't react this time. At least not until realisation set in for the second time that day and the bruising force of Reita's kiss caused his entire body to wince. God, was he crying? Or was it his own tears that he could feel and taste on his lips, which he, by the way, still couldn’t move an inch.
"Mm-m-...," he made instead, lifting both hands and pushing at Reita's chest while simultaneously trying to back away even further but it was impossible and in addition, the damn hot chocolate was fucking burning his toes through the fabric of his socks.
"N-No, Rei, s-stop- "
Fuck, he already felt his eyelids starting to flutter, what on earth was it that this boy did to him that made him so fucking weak? But he couldn't bear it, he'd just gotten out of the drama, he couldn't just dive right into the next one!
"Stop... mn- R-Reita- ! Stop!"
And he pushed him away, as far as he could but without actually letting go, his head hanging between his shoulders because he just couldn't look at him, he felt so betrayed for some stupid reason while his fingers were still desperately clutching the fabric of Reita's shirt.
How had he been able to hide it for all those weeks? Or had Aoi just been blind?
He really had been.
But Reita didn’t want him to see what he had failed to see, because nothing mattered but now. He wanted Aoi to see it at this moment, feel every raw bits patched of it.
Or maybe he already was seeing and feeling it now and that was why he couldn’t bring himself to accept it.
“I…,” Reita’s voice cracked, and with a tear blurred sight he trailed his hands up, cautiously placing them over Aoi’s clenched ones before he could stop himself, sliding them down to cup the belt-marked wrists but instead of pushing the raven away, he did the precise opposite, probably steering both of them away from the windows as he, at the same time, coaxed Aoi with tender kisses, not only on the lips but the rest of the raven’s flush facial features, and also every exposed skin he could find for his working mouth.
And by the time he pulled away slightly to restore his constricted breathing, the realization finally hit him and he could see he was now hovering over Aoi, between two slim legs, hands propping himself against a cushioned surface he assumed was the couch. Just when exactly they had landed here was out of Reita’s knowledge, because the only thing he knew was having Aoi.
Aoi knew, though. He was getting weak again, had allowed his stumbling feet to follow Reita's lead, had gasped with relish once his back hit the couch and he felt the blonde's weight on top of him. His legs were opening automatically to accomodate Reita between them, the feeling alone working wonders inside his body.
And still, he couldn't bring himself to lean up and claim those lips that were waiting for him because now that he knew about Reita's feelings and that the cold, desinterested demeanor had only been a mask for all this time.
"Promise me that... that..."
His lips remained parted as he looked up at the other, young male and into his pleading eyes that sparkled with tears but all he could do was shake his head.
"No, I can't do it, I can't... It's different now, I don't..."
Admittedly, he was talking more to himself than to Reita because deep down, Aoi knew he was going to give in eventually. Maybe just this one night, to satisfy Reita's needs, just tonight and then they would walk different paths starting by tomorrow. Yeah, that sounded good. That sounded like a plan, didn't it?
Eventually was right now as Aoi allowed himself to scoff softly only seconds before his hand shot up and grabbed Reita's shirt and pulled him down, smashing their lips together and the only two things that he put into this kiss were anger and despair because fuck, he was well aware that what he was doing at this very moment was more than wrong, letting this boy take him when Aoi didn't even feel anything for him.
It was between the rush pace of rough kisses that Reita nipped at Aoi’s lower lip, slithering his tongue in when he had the chance to deeply explore the same wet space of the raven’s mouth for the umpteenth time of the day, until what little left of the sweet chocolate malt taste finally disappeared by frantic flicks of their slick muscles. Perhaps Reita was doing a lot more than he had usually done, it just felt necessary for him, and maybe he was preparing himself for the soon dreading ending of two fuck buddies—him and Aoi.
Of course he could see the answer already.
And yes, this could be the only preparation he was doing for himself, enough or not, there was still no stopping to what he’d started.
“Mmn, Aoi,” the blonde huskily whispered into one of the raven’s ringed ears, slipped a working hand between them to slide inside the already hiked up shirt then wrapped his arm around the exposed waist, and he definitely loved how the texture of the smooth skin sparked familiar possessive fires within his finger tips. He tightened them hard into the flesh before he began grinding his bulging erection against Aoi’s heatedly, emitting loud groan after groan as each second passed by.
Oh, once everything ended between them, he was going to miss Aoi terribly.
The first moan Reita magically worked out of Aoi's throat was breathy, the raven's head tilted back as his fingers clutched the blonde's shoulders tightly. The feeling was just too fucking good, how Reita knew exactly how to press their crotches together, how to rub against the insides of his thighs, how to- everything.
The tingling sensation was like a magnet overpowering him and causing him to lift his legs, doing what he knew Reita loved as if he was the magnet, squeezing Reita's waist between his juicy thighs so his legs were dangling in the air behind them.
And during all that, their lips hadn't left each other, not even once.
In fact, Aoi had decided to hell with it, it was just going to be this one night so he tangled his fingers in the hair at Reita's nape, grasping it tightly and kissing him with all the passion he could muster.
"Mm... Mn-... Bed...," he murmured, almost inaudibly and words muffled by Reita's lips. "B-Bed, where's your bed, where... is your room...? Mmn..."
God, he already felt himself growing harder and harder and all because those hungry lips were eating every ever-so-tiny gasp and groan and moan that he produced as if Reita hadn't already gotten all of them earlier today.
The blonde yanked Aoi up into his arms as he pushed himself up from the couch, getting on his feet and reattaching his never sated lips against the raven’s hard enough for both of them to struggle with releasing their own breathless, aroused groans.
He had Aoi pressed against another something in the next moment, the dependent moaning raven cradled in his arms, slim legs still clutching firmly around his waist as his gnawing hands held them in place. And in the heated haze of bruising the other’s abused lips he caught several features that made out some parts of the door to his bedroom and thus he knew that the hard surface was what was pushed against the raven’s arching back.
“It’ll be your first time seeing my boring bedroom, huh,” and would also be the last.
And Reita twisted the doorknob with one hand, the gathered force against the door sending both him and Aoi stumbling almost inside the dim-lit room, without bothering to switch on the lights. They managed to fall onto the soft awaiting mattress, Aoi still settling within Reita’s curved arms as he was straddled, the blonde’s aching fingers tightening into the fabric of the raven’s shirt and twisting through the layer with a solid force before he peeled it off the pale-skinned upper half. His starving eyes never left the male figure beneath him until he began taking off his clothing to bare his muscled top.
Aoi gasped at just the sight of those muscles, instantly reminded of how they looked like when they flexed above him.
The raven felt his hunger eating at his insides and he almosts felt like being pulled by some imaginary strings as he sat up to push at Reita's chest, prompting him to lie down so he could swiftly straddle his lap.
"Let's make it a good first time," he murmured just before swooping down and kissing Reita passionately, his fingernails digging crescents into the skin of the blonde's chest. Soon though, Aoi trailed his lips down to the other's jawline, licking and sucking and biting in almost possessive manner, something he didn't know of himself.
His slim fingers caressed downwards towards the hem of Reita's tracksuit bottom and he grabbed it, tugged at it while his lips worked their way down over a nipple and a belly button.
"Seems like you need some relief, hm?" he snickered and finally freed the other's length out of its confines.
“Fuck, yes,” Reita gave a constricted hiss and threw his head back as nothing but the cold air met his aching length, one hand fisting the sheets within his reach. Damn, he really hadn’t had a good blow job for so long already and he wanted it right there and now.
“Shit,” he suddenly jerked and groaned once his curled hand squeezed around his own length hard to ease the disturbing pain, feeling it thickening and growing bigger as moments passed by, and he felt even hotter as he caught the sight of Aoi watching him with heated wide eyes, lips parting and slightly trembling with anticipation.
And the blonde couldn’t help but smirk and stroke himself with quick and desperate strokes. Oh yeah, he wanted to fuck the other’s waiting mouth big and wide and go as far as he could reach inside before his dick got to have the raven’s ass.
“Want it?” he asked, voice breathless with a smug smirk stretching his mouth as his hand slid up to fist his own balls, eyes dropping for a moment on the sight of the way his veins pushed up against the skin of his arm as he tightened his grip, driving his cock to get harder and harder. “You want it. Then fucking take it already.”
Aoi smirked in satisfaction, not hesitating to peel Reita's almost cramped digits away from around his cock, only to replace them with his own so he could lean down and trail his tongue around the already leaking head, moaning at just the taste of the skin. He couldn't even recall whether he'd ever given Reita a blowjob before at all.
Well, this was the perfect place and time for the first time then.
The raven closed his eyes as he began to move his head up and down, engulfing the reddened length between his lips and hollowing his cheeks occasionally while his hand was stroking the part that wasn't in his mouth.
He knew his noises were lewd but the taste was just so heavenly and he needed Reita to be as riled up as possible before spreading his legs for him.
“Fuck, you really love it, don’t you slut?”
Sitting up while braced on one hand, Reita trailed his other one down to grasp a handful of soft dark strands, fisting them in his tightened grip as he cooed and hungrily watched Aoi sucking him harder, the sunction tightening his balls and he almost couldn’t breathe at how hard he felt. “Keep doing that, and I’ll fucking dirty your little ass.”
Then he began pumping his cock over Aoi’s tongue, setting a steady pace that burned his sweat sheened skin with intense lust and made his lips curl to settle between his teeth so he could grunt even louder from the back of his throat, gasping once his the head of his cock bumped against the other’s throat. He felt himself throbbing painfully at the way his length was grazed by the coarse surface of teeth and slicked by that tongue.
“Enough,” he rasped, fingers digging into the night hair with a choked curse, “Fuck, I said enough slut.” Cracking a smirk, he tilted his head to the side once he pulled those sticky lips from his hungry swollen cock that had just sprung free.
“See that? Aren’t you some proud slut? Now lose your damn pants so then I can fuck your ass hard and rough with it.”
Aoi moved on order, pulling back swiftly and climbing off Reita's lap just to plonk down beside him.
The air around them changed significantly and Aoi knew they both felt it, Reita deciding he was going to give his all for their last night and Aoi... Aoi deciding he wasn't going to hold him back.
His fingers were trembling with rising lust as he unbuttoned his pants and carelessly threw them aside, turning so he could reach for the nightstand and rummage around a randomly chosen drawer.
"Ah! Oii!" he yelped in surprise when Reita's palm hit his buttock with a loud slapping noise and left a slightly stinging pain he, however, didn't mind much.
Turning back around after finally retreating lube and a condom, he tossed both of them at Reita. "There you go, master," he hissed playfully, then quickly shifted to the middle of the bed and lay down.
He was painfully hard by now, his legs spread open for the blonde without even needing to be asked and with heaving chest.
"Come on," he panted and bit his lip, the small black diamond dangling from his navel jiggling softly.
“You’re acting as if you haven’t had a full of my cock for a fucking month when it’s just been a few damn hours.”
A snicker, and Reita finished his sentence with a faint elastic sound of rubber being firmly set around his cock, the combination of his rough hand squeezing slightly around it almost made him burst but—
But then he paused, deciding to just fuck Aoi without a damn restraint since he just remembered he wanted to actually fucking dirty the slut’s ass.
And he had really said it, yeah?
“Fuck this shit,” he took off the condom right away before he rushed to slicking his cock with lube, bracing his knees on the mattress, pushing his rough palms against the rears of Aoi’s knees then sliding in without a second of taking a deep breath—
“Ah,” Reita was partly surprised at the flicker of a discovery, grinning down at Aoi as he bent his upper half. “You’re quite loose.”
Because he had been ravaging the raven’s ass several times earlier already, right. Sliding up his hands over the smooth legs, he then crossed them over so the opposite legs sat on the opposite shoulders, grunting as the hot walls around his lubed cock clenched even tighter. “Mmm fuck—even better.” And he started thrusting, going slow around the now narrower passage, wanting to abuse it more than he had ever done before.
Aoi was apparently having a hard time not to fall apart, completely and right away with his head thrown back and pressed into the pillow and his teeth gritted.
It did hurt a little, Aoi's muscles still sore from their rough fucking earlier today but it wasn't as if he really cared about it, let alone Reita himself. Consequently, Aoi dismissed the feeling to be nothing more than a very light burning sensation.
"Oh Go-od," he wheezed out while trying to find something to grip for his hands and what on earth was that position anyway? Did Reita really expect him to stay like this with his legs crossed?
"F-Fuck you," he hissed before- "Ah! Nnh-ah!" -one of those slow, deep thrusts scratched dangerously close to his prostate, making him shiver and shudder and cry out with lust.
Aoi's eyes were unfocused, not sure where to settle, whether upon Reita's face or his eyes or maybe just the ceiling? Wasn't Reita dodging his glance anyway?
Wasn't this just totally wrong anyway?
Despite the rather depressing thoughts running through his head, Aoi was still moaning with every thrust, every time that cock plunged into him, at a slow pace but with a bruising force.
"Mmn, nnh, uuhn... R-Rei..."
And suddenly, there was something about his own voice, something in the tone of it, a sudden change as he moaned the other's name that made it sound... more profound?
Reita faltered a bit, almost finding himself responding to the raven’s verbal call of his name with his own. And all the while he was reminded about how different it was now since he had confessed to the latter, how it had affected and was affecting him.
And it was also disturbing. Why did he have to end up liking the male underneath him?
It might seem small, but Aoi could really provide, or more like, intensify the strings of attachment between the two of them. If only he could notice how he’d been unconciously having Reita wrapped around his finger for so long … in other sense. Not the other way around. Sure, Reita was the person Aoi would turn to when it came to getting his ass fucked and sore and Reita could even make him drop to his knees and beg all he had just to have sex, but in terms of emotional affection, it wasn’t Aoi who was trapped deep in it and bound to it.
The blonde frowned to himself, expression a bit troubled, hating the entire world for what had happened. Fuck, he thought, uncrossed Aoi’s legs and hooked them around his waist instead so he could ease himself lower between them and place his hands over the metal headboard, building up a steady pace with the altered position now that he could slide in and drag out his cock of the wet channel easily without feeling less pleasured than before.
Aoi arched his back beneath him, moaning out loud, shamelessly and with his ankles crossed on the other's lower back.
This angle was so much better, so much more intense, Reita was closer, deeper, louder with their breaths mingling as they moaned against each other's lips.
Aoi groaned, his eyes half lidded and if he hadn't already wrapped his arms around Reita's torso, he would've have done so at the latest now, black-painted nails digging into those muscled shoulder blades that kept flexing beneath his palms with every thrust.
"Uuhn... Fuck, just- ah! Just like... that, Rei- Haah!"
Aoi felt like the hungriest man on earth and he didn't need anything but Reita's pleasured moans above him in order to throw away all the remaining inhibitions - and he hadn't had much to begin with.
Squeezing Reita's waist tightly between his sweat-sticky thighs, the raven lifted his head to smash his lips against Reita's, biting and sucking all at once and it was desperate and needy as he scratched down Reita's back with more whimpered moans and groans, leaving red streaks and a blissful hiss spilling out into his mouth while the noise of their bodies and hips working together and slapping against each other grew louder and louder between their panting breaths.
It was, quite literally, breathtaking.
Grunting, Reita curled his fingers along the headboard until his knuckles turned white before finally releasing them from it, only to tightly fist the white covers, jacking his throbbing hard cock into the raven buried in the mattress. The blond was torn between driving both of them to a quick desperate release and staying in this seemingly endless pleasured depth.
With a gasp, he instantly pulled his lips away from the rush of passionate abuse they were receiving from the raven’s, purring deep in his throat once he nibbled on the soft skin before piercing it with his teeth to break the fragile layer until the familiar faint red appeared, blooming and replacing the previous marks.
“Aoiii— ngghh ah, fuck, shit—fuck! Fuck!” Reita’s growls filled Aoi’s ears as he could feel the tremble his body was experiencing. Fuck, he was so close. “Fuck!” He peeled the tensing arms from his body, pinned Aoi’s hands next to either side of his head with his own and could see how the black-painted nails had slights hint of red staining them, all the way down to the sweaty flushed writhing form that was holding his big cock inside; the erotic sight immediately silenced any noises in his head.
He pistoned his hips, fixing his position for a second before he worked his way over and over again into Aoi, pressing his sole dominance against the pinned struggling hands within his grip, his body weighing down upon Aoi’s until the navel piercing and leaking cock were pressed up against his abs.
Sweat was starting to slick their skin while their bodies continued to rub and shove against each other, Aoi moaning and writhing beneath the blond like the slut he was.
The raven whimpered almost in frustration, struggling at the strong grip that held his wrists in place but he was too weak to loosen it. The irregular rhythm was driving him into madness, it seemed as if Reita couldn't decide, couldn't make up his mind whether to thrust quickly and roughly or slowly but in turn all the more hard.
It wasn't as though Aoi really cared at all because at this point, he was letting Reita have his way with him, was encouraging him, moaning his name and bucking and jerking his hips impatiently and even though it was nowhere near being as wild as their fucking in the classroom earlier today had been, this was much more intense.
Aoi heaved with lust, tears dribbling down the sides of his face as he took pound after pound against his prostate, every single one of them making him wheeze with bliss. He wasn't very vocal tonight but there was no need to be anyway. Aoi showed him how much he liked it, how much he wanted it, needed it just one last time tonight, please-
"Aah! Ha- a-ah- aaah!"
The leaking head of Reita's throbbing cock hit the sensitive gland at a perfect aim, dead on and the raven-haired boy's body was forced into a painful looking angle, slender hips squirming from side to side while his mouth stood open with voiceless gasps. With his eyes wide open, he was almost goggling up at Reita who had stopped moving altogether as well for a reason Aoi didn't quite understand yet.
All he knew was that his chest was heaving, that their bodies were still touching almost everywhere they could and molded together like two pieces of a puzzle, like magnets, and that - before Aoi even knew or would've been able to stop it - his eyes which were still lustfully focused on Reita's began to tear up.
Swallowing, Reita parted his mouth and—
No, they would just finish it right there and then.
But the tears, they were Aoi’s—
He wouldn’t be seeing them after this.
In the end, Reita let out a faint and bitter chuckle, his audible breath stirring the disarray blond bangs of his own, retracting his possessive hands from trapping the wrists and curling those trembling arms around his neck.
Feeling those slim fingers weave their way through his damp hair, he continued moving, their rhythm slow and raw, his face settled between the feminine curve of Aoi’s shoulder and neck while his cock pushed in deeper and deeper to prod at that exact spot, chests grinding against one another so hard he could swear Aoi was able to hear the pounding of his heartbeat.
Full of fear to let him go.
But it wasn’t like Aoi had ever been his anyway.
And then pleasure finally shattered him, groaning as he buried his face firmly against Aoi’s marked shoulder and tried to ride out his orgasm in the next few moments.
A more than needy whimper hit his ear, Aoi's voice almost like a sob as he felt the pulsing and twitching of Reita's cock inside him, the warm sensation of semen filling him enough to almost push him over the edge.
With one hand tangled in the blond hair at Reita's nape, mewling with relish at how those lips pressed to his skin, the raven reached down and began stroking himself, quickly but firmly until the last few meters were finally overstepped.
His body tensed with his own release and it was probably to both their surprise that he didn't make a single sound while the giant wave of pleasure crashed down on him. Hot, sticky droplets dribbled down his length and hand, his legs limping and threatening to drop from around Reita's hips.
Aoi stared up at the ceiling, his cheeks hot and flushed and his lips parted in order to catch his breath. Reita's muscled body was heaving above him, the blond's trembling gasps hitting his neck.
Aoi gulped, several times at that, and slowly brushed his palm downward over Reita's shoulder blade where he'd left the scratches until it had reached the other's waist. "Get off me," he mumbled and turned his head to the side after now, dropping his legs and starting to squirm.
Reita complied without saying anything, hissing once the pain on his back that met with the cool air finally registered his mind and he slowly laid his own body down on the mattress to avoid putting too much pressure onit. A soft groan left his lips once he finally settled in.
Move on, go separate ways, no more fuck buddy—
“Hey,” Reita rolled over onto his side, wetting his lips for a moment before he could finally speak. “You could leave now, or tomorrow…or…” he trailed off once his eyes fell on Aoi’s face, quickly averting them away once he thought of words, words…he sucked at expressing whatever was going through his head.
“Stay,” he finally breathed it, hand reaching out to cup Aoi’s face and gently making him turn to look directly into his eyes. “Just for this night,” a painful-looking, tiny smile trembled his mouth. “And, you can pretend my confession and any of this, and whatever between us before this, never happened. I’ll do the same thing.”
Aoi stared back at him.
He couldn't walk, no way. Having Reita drive him home and then probably making him doubt his decision to end this? Definitely not.
Staying and-... And what?
And falling asleep in Reita's arms?
Fuck. It'd be the first time for them to spend the night together, in a bed, like a couple and it'd be their last.
Aoi gulped. The palm cradling his cheek felt so warm and soft and loving, something he wasn't used to when it was Reita he was talking about. He parted his lips to take a deep breath but only found himself forcing his vocal chords to form and press out one word.
And he turned around. He turned back from the gentle touch, away from Reita's pleading glance, turned his back on him. "But don't think anything of it."
Adding that didn't really help lighten the bad conscience that had taken hold of him but... it was something.
And yes, it was.
And once he closed his exhausted eyes, with nothing else to say and the knowledge it was better this way, he thought of his feelings for the raven beside him, of why he had developed them for nothing, that he had fallen for someone who had never made himself smile and happy.
No, he was at the very least happy but never showed it to Aoi, couldn’t and wouldn’t share it with him just because the time and situation had never been appropriate.
But he would if he could, however, that was impossible now, wasn’t it? Because admittedly, he had had hopes that he and Aoi could be like other couples and now because of such high intensity, he had fallen deep and broken after learning the answer from Aoi himself.
After glancing at Aoi one last time, Reita let his head fall back onto the pillow underneath, pulling the blanket over them for a moment, and no longer going to touch the other as he thought better of it, no matter how much he was aching for it.
But if that was what Reita had been seeking from Aoi then he had always been at fault from the very beginning, this was a lesson he needed to bear.
So there was no happy ending in the end.